I know I've been guilty of wanting circumstances to be perfect, waiting for the perfect time, or needing things to be perfect. Hey, I’m an engineer, and my excuse has always been perfectionism comes with the territory.
...from making sure a huge project I was working on was fully completed,
...to transitioning responsibilities on new projects that were gettin just started,
...to having a couple of client contracts already in place.
The day I left my job was Friday, March 13, 2020 - the day, now infamously known as the day our whole world changed!
As companies closed their doors and sent employees home with the worldwide lockdowns, even my employer asked me if I wanted to reconsider my last day in the office – I didn’t.
In the days and weeks that followed, my family, friends, and professional colleagues questioned my decision. I received so many phone calls asking me:
"Why would you leave your 20-year energy career, as a trusted and valued industry expert?"
"What are you thinking?!"
"Why are you trying to do this training thing?”
Everyone thought I was crazy!
By April, I had lost contracts, and like many, filed for unemployment. I was embarrassed. I was humbled. I wondered if I was crazy. I questioned my decision. Yet as I watched what was going on in our world – the fear, the uncertainty, the rising stress and anxiety – and how we were disconnecting from each other and ourselves – something in my heart kept whispering “Stay the course.”
As the months went on...
(I was forced to embrace my fears, feel my insecurities, trust that voice, and lean into my power anyway. It wasn’t easy. I dipped into savings to invest in coaching, learned how to facilitate engaging webinars via Zoom more effectively, and started doing Facebook Lives – which was WAY out of my comfort zone!
I spend hours providing free webinars for both industry organizations and on my own. Listened to my boyfriend ask over and over why I wasn’t getting paid for them! Usually, there was a good turn-out, sometimes only one or two people showed up. Once absolutely no one attended! I did the session anyway. Why? Because as an energy gal, I believe it sends as a power signal to the universe, magnetizing the goals you want to create in your life. You can read more about the power of visualization here.
And just when I was thinking, maybe I am crazy...
In November 2020, I received a call from an energy industry colleague:
“Our company needs to find ways to support our employees with emotional health and well-being. Is this something these training sessions you do now can help us with?” YES!
Then came the second call :
“We’d like to do a ½ professional development workshop for our employees when things open up next spring. I love that we can bring you in since you also understand our industry.”
These two calls came at the perfect moment, fueling my momentum and rebuilding my confidence to keep going.
Starting Positively Powered, at one of the least perfect moments – at the start of a pandemic - was going to pay off!
Embracing imperfection and bad timing helps you grow...
I made a LOT of mistakes my first year in business, and if I’m honest, I've made plenty more this past second year as well. Yet, I continue to learn and continue to grow. I’ve danced with the challenges my perfectionism brings. I've learned done is better than perfect. I created a mantra to remind myself to:
“Let go of being right and explore what’s left.”
I’ve learned how being imperfect makes you more relatable! During Positively Powered training sessions where I’ve shared some of my more embarrassing stories about lessons learned, my being vulnerable made the training more impactful!
Believe me, I’ll continue to make mistakes, and I’m sure there will be days where I get caught up waiting for the perfect moment, waste time writing the perfect email, or beat myself up for not having the perfect timing.
However the biggest gift I learned from my bad timing these last two years, is trust the perfection of imperfect moments.